Retired, Inspired, & Thriving

In a recent post, I wrote about how I’m finally at peace with being single—and I am. But being at peace doesn’t mean I never feel lonely or that I wouldn’t appreciate being in a relationship. Being single in retirement comes with real tradeoffs. I experience the loneliness of not having a partner, but I also have total freedom over my time. I finance my retirement without a partner’s income, but I was able to retire on my own terms. I handle the responsibilities of homeownership alone, but I also have complete control of my home. These are three real-life tradeoffs I’ve experienced as a single retiree. In This Post Missing Companionship vs. Total Freedom Over My Time Financing Retirement Alone vs. Retiring on My Own Terms Handling the Home Alone vs. Complete Control of My Home Solo Aging Is a Growing Conversation Missing Companionship vs. Total Freedom Over My Time Being a single retiree can get lonely at times. There’s no one to ...

I retired at 49, and I’m still single. But for the first time in my life, I’m at peace with it. I’m no longer worried that I’m running out of time. For most of my life, I wished for love. I wanted that special guy to come along and fill what I believed was an empty place in my heart. At the same time, I had a list of requirements for the man I wanted. I thought the list would help me find the right person, but it wasn’t nearly as helpful as I believed. Sometimes, it distracted me from the qualities that mattered most. Other times, I abandoned it out of desperation because I felt as though the clock was ticking. Even so, I haven’t closed myself off to love and marriage. I’m simply no longer treating either as something that must happen before my life can be complete. In This Post Wanting a Relationship Wasn’t the Problem. Believing I Needed One Was. It’s Not a Man’s Job to Rescue Me Attention and Interest Are Not the Same The Problem Isn...

The first time I can remember realizing that I was aging was when I noticed that my premature grey had matured. No more random strands popping up here and there once in a while. Instead, the grey was now fully committed to growing in robust patches. Soon, the entire lengths of a couple of locs were more grey than brown. I started getting grey strands in my eyebrows, and sometimes when I’d see myself in a picture, I’d say, I can’t be that grey, can I? That can’t be what I actually look like, because it isn’t what I see in the mirror. Next, I started noticing how asymmetrical my face is. I actually thought maybe something was wrong because one side seemed to droop more and one side seemed fuller. I confirmed with my dentist that nothing was wrong. I just subconsciously use one side of my face more than the other when I eat, sleep, talk, and make expressions. In fact, no one’s face is truly symmetrical. The interesting thing is that I probably would never have noticed any of th...

One of the things I looked forward to most about early retirement was having more control over my time. No alarm clock. No workday dictating my schedule. No squeezing the rest of my life into evenings, weekends, and school breaks. So why, lately, do I feel so overwhelmed? To be fair, this has been an unusually busy year. Since March, nearly every month has brought something—travel, family celebrations, side-hustle work, home improvement projects, social events, and preparing my house for a big family gathering. Most of these have been good things. Some have been wonderful things. That’s what makes my feeling of overwhelm a little harder to understand. I’m retired. I’m doing things I chose to do. Why do I sometimes feel as though I don’t have enough time? In This Post My Time Changed—But So Did I When Everything I Want to Do Becomes a To-Do List Maybe Another Schedule Isn’t the Answer Maybe I Don’t Need to Get It All In My Time Cha...